While October may be Breast Cancer Awareness Month, breast cancer is an all-year issue. As survivors and local moms, Debbie and Jackie of the Zolan Rossiter Team share their experiences with the disease, the lessons they’ve learned along the way and how their diagnoses affected both their professional and personal lives. Brooklyn Bridge Parents sat down with both women to learn more about their passion and advocacy for breast cancer awareness and how they offer a helping hand to those in need.
What advice would you give to someone who has recently been diagnosed with breast cancer and is feeling overwhelmed by the news?
DEB: Well, first of all it IS quite overwhelming. There is a lot of information out there and being newly diagnosed causes anxiety and fear. Hopefully, you have a good relationship with your doctor and she/he is able to calmly take you through the diagnosis and the plan of action. It helped me a great deal to speak to friends, family members and colleagues who have had the misfortune of having had breast cancer. I remember calling Jackie to speak to her after my diagnosis, as she had successfully completed treatment by the time I had to start mine. Talking to as many women as possible was very helpful to me. Knowing that they had “made it through” and were on the other side of it, was reassuring to me. Hearing about all the little things that doctors don’t share was also illuminating – like what were the important items to have in the hospital, the most comfortable bras and tops post-surgery and what to expect week by week. I, in turn, returned the favor when other friends of friends were diagnosed and scared.
JR: The news of a breast cancer diagnosis is undeniably frightening and life-altering. I remember feeling incredibly overwhelmed when I found out, especially because I had no idea about the diverse range of breast cancer types. The multitude of options, from different treatment approaches to surgery types and even reconstruction choices, seemed like an insurmountable mountain of decisions. In the midst of this overwhelming situation, my advice is to seek multiple opinions.Understanding your options, whether it’s adjuvant or neoadjuvant treatments (meaning chemotherapy before or after surgery), finding the right surgical path, and deciding on reconstruction, if desired, are crucial decisions. Personally, finding solace in a community of younger women who had walked this path was incredibly valuable for me. I discovered a supportive network through the 5 Under 40 Foundation, a community that not only provided me with guidance but also became a source of inspiration and hope. Their support was so impactful that I eventually became a Brand Ambassador for the organization, allowing me to give back and be there for newly diagnosed women, offering them the same guidance and hope I had received.
I would also offer that it is vital to resist the temptation to delve too deeply into the vast abyss of information available online, especially the scary stories. Other people’s stories are NOT your story and you might easily get triggered. If you do venture into the digital realm, focus solely on success stories. Your mental and emotional well-being is just as important as your physical health. Remember, you are your own health advocate. Building a strong, trustworthy medical team that you feel comfortable with is paramount. These professionals will be your companions on this journey, so finding doctors whom you love and who make you feel well taken care of can make a world of difference. Lastly, be gentle with yourself. It’s okay to have moments of fear, sadness, or frustration. Allow yourself the space to process these emotions and seek professional help from therapists or counselors if needed. Remember that you possess remarkable inner strength, and with the right support, determination, and a positive mindset, you can navigate through this challenging chapter and emerge even stronger.
Breast cancer can affect women of all ages. Can you shed light on the unique challenges that young breast cancer survivors face, and how they can find support?
DEB: I wasn’t that young when I was diagnosed. I had already had my child (who was about 10 years old at the time of my first diagnosis). Sharing the news with him was NOT easy at all but he handled it the best he could. We were honest and forthright and he trusted that we were telling him the truth. So the next year, when I was diagnosed on the second side, he knew that I would be all right. There are wonderful groups and organizations for breast cancer patients and their family members. Years ago when I owned a t-shirt brand but before I had breast cancer, we donated proceeds of the sale of a certain tee to the Young Survival Coalition – this group strengthens the community, addresses the unique needs, amplifies the voice and improves the quality of life of young adults affected by breast cancer, locally, nationally and internationally.
JR: Young breast cancer patients face unique challenges, primarily due to the aggressive nature of the disease, often discovered in later stages because routine screenings typically begin after the age of 40. I was diagnosed at 37 with stage 2 triple-positive breast cancer. Thankfully, I already had three children, as breast cancer treatments can cause infertility. Many young women I’ve met had to rush to freeze their eggs before starting treatment to preserve their chances of having children. The impact of the disease on education and careers is significant, with college students facing hurdles like missing classes and coping with visible changes such as hair loss and breast surgery. Moreover, young patients might be navigating the realms of dating or just launching their careers. Personally, one of the toughest moments was explaining my diagnosis to my 12-year-old son, who, in his fear, asked me directly if I was going to die. Having support from others who had faced similar situations, like a friend who had triumphed over cancer and talked to my son, provided immense hope and comfort. I strongly recommend seeking out organizations like 5 Under 40, especially if you’re diagnosed with breast cancer under 40 or carry the BRCA gene, and live in New York, New Jersey, or Connecticut. These groups can provide the specific support and understanding needed for the unique challenges young breast cancer patients face.
How has your experience as a breast cancer survivor shaped your approach to your real estate career, particularly in terms of empathy and understanding your clients’ needs?
DEB: My experience as a breast cancer survivor has shaped my approach to literally everything, including my work in real estate. I have had several clients affected by the disease so we share that and sometimes bond over it. I’ve attended breast cancer symposiums and luncheons with some of these clients. It also puts things in perspective. Our business is tough and there are a lot of stressors, but it’s important to maintain a healthy work/life balance. After having been through something like breast cancer, it’s easier to be kind, caring and thoughtful when dealing with others – not only our clients but the co-brokers, attorneys and lenders on our deals. One doesn’t lose anything in negotiations by being nice. You can be a fierce advocate for your client while remaining considerate, even-keeled and sympathetic. Understanding everyone’s motivation is key to any successful negotiation.
JR: Certainly. My experience as a breast cancer THRIVER (I prefer thriver over survivor) has profoundly shaped my approach to my real estate career, infusing it with a deep sense of empathy and compassion. Through my journey, I’ve learned the transformative power of resilience and hope, which goes beyond the boundaries of religion and taps into the spiritual core of human existence. This spiritual understanding has allowed me to connect with my clients on a deeper level. I believe that every individual’s journey is meaningful and unique, and I approach my work with the same. I view each transaction not a business deal, but as a significant chapter in my clients’ lives. I seek to provide practical guidance, of course, but also emotional understanding that the process of finding or selling a home often carries profound personal significance.
Real estate can be a demanding profession. How have you managed the work-life balance, especially during and after your breast cancer treatments, and what advice do you have for others in similar situations?
DEB: For me, it was important to work through the treatment as much as I could. I think I took 2 weeks off after my first mastectomy. I was then the on-site sales director for a new development working for the Sponsor. The team was all men – the developer, the architect and the construction crew. I did not want to draw any attention to myself and didn’t share any of the news with anyone except my supervisor at the brokerage. I didn’t want anyone feeling sorry for me. I was diagnosed at an early stage and many had it much worse and I felt grateful for that. Work kept me busy and moving my body, which was key to recovery. But everyone is different. For some, taking more time off, sharing the diagnosis and news with those around them may work better for them. It’s a time to do what works for YOU and your family and not anyone else.
JR: Balancing work and the breast cancer treatments was incredibly challenging, but I managed to keep going as much as I could, thanks to my supportive clients. Although I didn’t attract much in the way of new business during this time, my past clients continued to work with me, understanding the intensity of my treatment plan. Some hesitated to contact me, thinking they might be a bother, but I never felt that way. My journey involved a bilateral mastectomy followed by at least a year of chemotherapy and/or targeted therapy that often left me sick, fatigued, and hairless due to the treatments’ side effects. Despite these challenges, my work served as both a distraction and a source of fulfillment. I love what I do, so it didn’t feel like a burden, even on my toughest days. I learned to listen to my body, resting when needed and putting in extra hours when I felt well. The key, I discovered, was honoring my body’s signals and doing what felt best for everyone involved.
Communication is essential in the real estate industry. How do you navigate discussions with clients about potentially stressful situations or challenging negotiations, drawing from the resilience you’ve developed through your breast cancer journey?
DEB: Communication is an important skill as we navigate a lot of different emotions through buying and selling homes. It’s all about managing expectations, being responsive and providing information. It is about sharing our knowledge from years of experience and spanning over hundreds of deals. I probably over communicate. I like to check in daily or weekly with my sellers and buyers. I’ve never had any client say “you provide too much information, Debbie.” I want them to feel they are in control of the situation as much as they can be. That is what helped me during my breast cancer situation. Since so much of it is “out of our control” any chance where I can provide them with a sense of empowerment is important and appreciated.
JR: After 20 years in the business and hundreds of transactions,, I can confidently say that communication is the cornerstone of success in real estate, especially in delicate situations. Drawing from the resilience cultivated during my breast cancer journey, I approach these conversations with honesty and compassion. Just like discussing challenging moments in my treatment, I address stressful situations openly and transparently with my clients and they appreciate this. I’ve learned that being upfront about the challenges, yet maintaining a positive outlook, is key. My experience has taught me the value of patience and understanding, much like the patience required during treatment. I approach negotiations with a calm demeanor, finding solutions that work for all parties involved. Just as I listened to my body during treatment, I listen to my clients’ concerns, ensuring they feel heard and supported throughout the process.
Debbie Zolan and Jackie Rossiter are the Principals of the Zolan Rossiter Team at Compass. We’re here to help you navigate your personal real estate journey.
